BC156 – Brenda Tracy – Sexual Assault, Physical Violence and Setting The Expectation

This episode is one that all coaches must listen to.  Being called a coach comes with a responsibility to educate far beyond X’s and O’s.  To be called a coach is to be a shaper of young men, helping to set them on the path towards making our world a safer and more supportive place for everyone.


I first heard Brenda Tracy (@BrendaTracy24) speak to the @SMU_Football team when I was working with @CoachChadMorris and the Mustangs.  Her message was one of the most heartfelt and moving messages I had ever heard. It was a message that every male coach and athlete needs to hear and support.

Brenda Tracy survived a gang rape by four college football players in 1998.  After coming forward with her story in 2014, she quickly realized that educating, engaging, and inspiring men and coaches to become involved in the fight against sexual violence was her most important passion.

If women could stop sexual violence, they would have already done so.  As a society, we hear a lot about men being the problem; and given the fact that men perpetrate the vast majority of sexual violence, I can see how we have come to this conclusion.  Brenda doesn’t believe we can talk about men as the problem unless we are also willing to talk about them as the solution.

In 2016 she began traveling the country to share her story and to work with college football programs and other athletic teams on awareness and education as they relate to sexual assault and violence.  As she went from one program to the next, she saw a pattern. Some coaches stood in front of their players and set the expectation that sexual assault and physical violence would not be tolerated while others did not.  Some coaches were even actively recruiting and keeping violent athletes on their teams. In an effort to get all of these coaches on the same page she launched the #SetTheExpectation campaign.

#SetTheExpectation is centered on the following three areas:

  1.    Commitment
  2.    Raising awarenes through sports
  3.    Education

In this podcast we explore three critical areas centered around education and awareness as they relate to sexual assault and violence:

  1. What is consent?
  2. What can a bystander do?
  3. Redefining and challenging masculinity and the 5Bs
    1. Beers
    2. Billfold
    3. Ballfield
    4. Bedroom
    5. Biceps

Your participation in the #SetTheExpectation campaign will help foster safer and more respectful cultures not only within athletics, but also in your surrounding campus community.  As a nonprofit, #SetTheExpectation focuses on male high school and college student-athletes and their coaches. Brenda believes it’s imperative for us to have these important conversations BEFORE these young men get to college.

With your help we can make #SetTheExpectation a campaign that embraces, inspires and engages our men, boys and their coaches to become the solution to this preventable violence.

In this podcast Brenda discusses how you can help bring awareness and education to the young men that call you Coach and explains what you can do to #SetTheExpectation and do your part in putting an end to sexual assault and violence on your campus.

For more information on Brenda and #SetTheExpectation, please visit:

(1) Brenda Tracy’s Website:  https://www.brendatracy.com/home

(2) The Set The Expectation Foundation Website:  https://www.settheexpectation.com/about/

(3) 16 years after Oregon State football gang-rape allegation, Brenda Tracy steps from the shadows


00:00 – Introduction

04:44 – Brenda Tracy Background and Story

08:03 – Set The Expectation Campaign at SetTheExpectation.com

11:48 – What do you need to have your own Set The Expectation game?

12:48 – The power of the t-shirt and what it says

14:03 – When should you start educating the athletes?

17:13 – what should a coach do to Set The Expectation?

19:33 – How you can help Brenda Tracy spread the message

23:04 – Raising awareness in schools – by the numbers

24:54 – “The Red Zone”

26:34 – The importance of men taking action

31:14 – Where to go to support the Set The Expectation campaign

32:59 – Engage with Brenda on social media